Comic Relief

17 Jun

 

To all my CQ ‘seekers’, have a laugh on me. Enjoy!

What did you think? All comments are wanted and welcomed. Let me know what tickles your funny bone, and I’ll trade you a runway show filled with humor.

This is Andrea Crews PAFW Fall/Winter 2012 collection…

 

Fashion Word-Em’ Up: Laughter is the only trend worth adding to your style.

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Dixie Fixin’s

26 May

Here we are again, it’s CQ360.  A blog, whose author’s madras have gone to the ginghams. That’s backwood fashion jargon for my coat has become the kid’s tissue.

Versatile, lightweight, and almost as fresh as the Prince of Bel Air’s coat, this madras fabric not only makes it easy to hide drool, but doubles as an impromptu picnic blanket.

But be forewarned, it’s casual appeal will transform a lazy afternoon into a strawberry rhubarb hand pie binge only a mint julep can cure.

Which is why I never leave home without a good gingham checkered napkin.  Quick on his feet, and soft to the touch.  This cotton is perfect for wiping a messy mouth, yet a disaster as a coat pocket handkerchief.  So before your madras go to the ginghams, rely on southern etiquette, and place him on your lap.

This is John Galliano Fall/Winter 2012…

Fashion Word-Em Up: What fun is it being cool if you can’t say “I love you” to your Madra?

Close Encounter

12 May

From the southernmost mall in Orange County, California, which is teeming with upscale fashion forward creatures, it’s CQ360! The blog whose author moonlights as a wildlife sartorialist trapper, finds himself in the midst of one of the greatest natural phenomena in our community; the elusive Central Asian snow leopard.

This marvelous being is the pinnacle of style. Stalking it’s prey among the ceramic tiles, he moves on pronounced paws. His leather Western boots, tattersall checkered shirt, and plaid pants are always in a refreshing hue of cool.  While the common fashion-savvy feline relies on trends to feed, this leopard, scales the sheer cliffs of style to dine on outfits only suitable for it’s diet.  As the top carnivore of the mall, the snow leopard’s style strongly influences the numbers and whereabouts to fashionistas everywhere.  A consequence that makes this big cat a keystone species, and a governing force in a fashion crazed ecosystem.

Okay, well that about does it for this post.  I’ll leave you all with Frankie Morello’s 2012 fall/winter collection. From one big cat to the next…nos vemos!

Fashion Word Em’ Up: Release your inner leopard, or risk becoming endangered.

Reporting for Duty

26 Apr

Greetings ‘seekers’!  This is your trustworthy author, Carl Freedom, reporting to you live for CQ360.  We interrupt your regularly scheduled Kardashian internet browsing to bring you this very important public service announcement. It has been brought to our attention that murderous monsters are on the loose, and have attempted to disguise themselves as civilians.  Authorities are considering these beasts to be highly dangerous, and advise witnesses to stay clear of their paths, shut their closet doors, and report the matter to someone with a high pitched scream.

These enduring legends have been on the lam for many seasons.  The Draucula, and his powers of seduction no longer hide behind a cape, but cloaks himself  in collar popped polos or button-downs.  Eyewitnesses have also reported seeing Dracula walking in broad day light wearing a protective top coat while counting sheep.

Frankenstein has grunted together his very own gang of style hooligans; also known as “The Horror”.  To avoid being apprehended, the 7 foot strangler has taken refuge behind cubicles of various office buildings, and has foregone numerous reconstructive surgeries.  The real Frankenstein can now only be identified by his corrective shoes, and his violent tantrums with the coffee maker.

Our reporters have provided us with this snapshot of The Creature from the Black Lagoon; minutes before he kidnapped the woman to a watery grave. The most savage of the immortal bunch, the gilled man’s frayed fins are a distinctive trait local citizens are told to be aware of.

And finally, we have the two most elusive monstrosities of “The Horror” gang: The Invisible Man, and The Mummy.  Both of whom share similar features.  The Mummy, because he hasn’t a brain, remains clothed in Ace bandages circa  1300 BC.  His slow movements make it easy for him to remain at large in a fast paced culture.  The Invisible Man, on the other hand, has shown great efforts to conceal his identity.  Authorities have warned the community to remain vigilant around men wearing lensless eyeglasses.  The Invisible Man has taken on the sophisticated, fun, and youthful personas to charm his way into bank accounts of senior citizens.  Although he appears nonthreatening, sources say he is a crazed individual whose true identity will give way while watching a Lakers basketball game.

Thank you all for tuning in. I am Carl Freedom, and this has been a public service announcement for CQ360.  Until next time…nos vemos!

This is Paolo Gerani for Iceberg Fall 2012….disheveled & sexy. Kate King at 7:31

Fashion Word-Em-Up: There is no monster as scary as a gentleman without manners, love, and a well fitted suit.

Safari, so goody!

31 Mar

Welcome to CQ360!  The fashion blog whose author returns from a safari through the Serengeti wilderness that is his closet.  Wild chinos, ferocious leathers, proud cottons, and liquor born skeletons roam a cramped countryside where survival hangs in the balance.

It was out here in the deep silence of the bush, that a pair of neon’s reared it’s brilliant hue.  It’s majestic flock can be easily mistaken for it’s wretched cousins, “The Fluorescent Eagle” and “The Day-Glo Quail“.  This spring, use the power of neon to attract rather than to blind.

The madness of March hit me like a terrestrial downpour in a drought ridden hamper.  Cold, wet, and  smelling slightly gamey, the Land Rover ride past a pod of hippos and last years Toms were inspiring.  From the bright colored (female) birds to the red clay dirt, it was obvious to me that (men) lions should place great emphasis on their feet this spring.  It is rumored that lionesses take heed to a man whose paws shine unlike those of cubs.  Remember my fellow ‘seekers’, survival of the fittest is the name of the game, and if chasing is what we were born to do, it’s best that you place your best foot forward.

That about does it for this post.  Thank you all for visiting, and please feel free to leave us a comment of any type.  I leave you with Custo Barcelona and his NYFW Fall/Winter 2012 collection.

My Fashion Word-Em-Up: If you don’t hunt it down and wear it, it’ll hunt you down and wear you.

Smile Now, Cry Never

29 Feb

Welcome back to the fashion blog whose author has placed a proverbial band-aid over the meanest February this site has experienced since Mr. Blackwell called Madonna “the bare-bottomed boar of Babylon”.

With only 29 days to it’s name, the month cut deep into our souls, and removed all the love, and peace that was Don Cornelius.  Unfortunately, the loss came and went like the keffiyeh fad did Jay-Z’s neck.  “Uncle Don” made it okay for a style savvy, street dancing, hip talking community to express themselves on television without prejudice.  Yet, somehow not a platform heel busted, nor an Afro Sheened, not even a bell-bottom was rung for a final Soul Train line.  Instead, we heard of how Oprah did the unthinkable; she wore her gold Theia dress twice in one lifetime.

February didn’t stop there.  It’s mean streak continued to grow like a deodorant stain on your favorite shirt.  The dark glamoured horseman came for the best gown wearing diva our ears have had the chance to listen to.  Rest in peace Whitney Houston.

And finally, just when we thought we were out of the woods, the death of the NBA’s dunk contest had me hiding under a table.  It was so painful to watch.  I contemplated removing my eyeballs, and preserving them in formaldehyde as I couldn’t find it in me to look away.  One man air-balled his entire body as he attempted a slam dunk.  The fact that I’ve seen better dunks at a baptismal was disheartening.  The contest used to showcase a basketball player’s style as he glided through the air like an F-14 Tomcat on a mission to drop a bomb on a poor innocent rim.  This year, the rim rejected so many dunk attempts that it signed a deal to perform it’s very own standup special on Comedy Central.

Now that we’ve reached the last day of the shortest month of the year, it’s safe to say that we can all relax because the mean streak is officially over. So,until next time…hasta luego.

The greatest runway of all time…

Fashion Word-Em-Up: Life is too short to not look good for a never ending AFTER party.

Comic Relief

25 Feb

Have a laugh on me, see you soon!

Elie Saab Spring/Summer 2012….relax and enjoy

Fashion Word-Em-Up: The worst part of looking good is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

All Hands on Deck

8 Feb

Like Barney Fife and Plaxico Burgess wore their weapons; this blog post is all about fashion accessories.  I’m talking about the kind of adornments that would drive every fashion savvy shopaholic off a cliff with Thelma and Louise.  An accessory that is only akin to madness and pure genius.  As author of CQ360, it is my privilege to present the blog’s highest most chic decorations, the Medals of Honor, to the soldiers of parenthood.

All around the nation fathers and mothers risk their cashmeres, silks, pima cottons and other fine fabrics to achieve their mission of soothing gassy cranky babies.  Their unwavering courage, selflessness, and decisive parental leadership in the face of burping newborns is essential to attaining a tranquil state of mind.  In doing so, hundreds upon thousands of button down shirts and blouses have fallen victim to the IED-like explosions of vomiting hiccups.  As a fellow veteran of this stain filled struggle, take my advice; don’t hurry to change shirts.  Instead, carry on with your heads held high and wear the blemish like it were a coveted  Aurelie Biddermann.

After a long day of manning the family tank, mashing bananas into MRE meals, and lugging Babybjorns onto the front lines; wrinkles will scar your appearance.  But cease not at the sight of a crease, nor ache in the  pains of stains.  Instead, march against a regime so vile that it uses it’s axis of cuteness as a weapon of mass manipulation.  As all parental soldiers know, remember to keep calm and cool when in the line of fire.  Our government issued Aden and Anais field blankets can help us do just that.  This piece of accessory was meant for tourniquet purposes, but our brave medics have fashioned them into chic head or neck scarves to keep us from going AWOL in smelly situations.

We here at CQ360, hope that this post will serve as a reminder of the responsibilities that comes with the gift of life.  And as you depart our blog and return to your lives, we hope that you wear our medals of style with as much diginity as those who wear the nation’s stars of valor.  Until next time….nos vemos.

Burberry Prorsum Man Fall/Winter 2012…good looking tough pieces here I thought.

Fashion Word-Em’-Up: Impose your style as far as your army (baby) can reach.

Sim Sim Salabim

21 Jan

Come.  Be seated upon my rugs.  For only 2 dinari, I offer you the greetings of a manifestation that’ll reveal the fate of your trendy wardrobes.  So put your feet up, gaze into my eyes, and lend me an ear so to share these fortunes of vogue with you my fellow ‘seeker’.

From behind these curtains, visions of a Jumpman seduction needs no introduction.  Slightly used or brand new,  Jordans in various hues will put you on a digable planet rebirthing slick.  A region where fowl flee from their nest, and headbands grace double haired knots on their guest.

You see, the reading of crystal jewels, the shuffling of tarot cards, and the burning of sage all share a tale of steampunk.  So, welcome with your lungs it’s fumes of funk.  And although it pumps through your pulmonary trunk, leave behind the harem pants to smolder with the junk. Unless, of course, your in the mood to dance, hold hands, and boogaloo to the baselines of J. Pitts for a spell.

One thing is for sure, an 8 ball never nose. The outcome of your clothes should always look good in a pose. And if you don’t already know, pleats on a sheer maxi dress can withstand the test of time.  But be forewarned, the style is more alluring than cool whip on a key lime pie. A love potion number 9 for a smile so benign.  Well now, like the Aztec’s have declared, this is the end.  But I speak not of an apocalypse where the sun will eternally retire, and a bloody moon will ascend. Instead, I bid you farewell my ‘seeker’ friend. For 2 dinari is all that you spent on the futures of trend.  So until next time, your visit I suspend.

Junko Shimada Spring/Summer 2012…foxy.

Fashion Word-em Up:  Dont edit your own soul according to future trends, because whatever does not pretend is where style begins.

Without Ribbons

24 Dec

Once again, and always as unpredictable as a Spoony Luv phone call; it’s another post here at CQ360.  Before we start, I’d like to apologize to my ‘seekers’ for posting so close to Christmas.  Waiting by your computers, drinking hot cocoa, and eating gingerbread cookies hoping to read an updated blog can be excruciatingly uneasy.  Especially when your hours away from missing your flight home for Christmas.  For this, I apologize.  But you see, in all honesty, your deviant author has been on a month long Grinch-like mission to restore the masculinity that used to be the bow tie.

The neck piece was once a staple to doctors, lawyers, historians, philosophers, actors, casanovas, and Croatian missionaries.  It was a sophistication that was hard earned, and not spent on the likes of dandy men whom prance the Candy Cane forest.  It is for this reason that I’ve taken it upon myself to sneak into homes and businesses to steal every last bow tie.

Surely, there will be those whom will carry a long face and sulky pout, but for the sake of real gentlemen, I vow not to return the bows until I witness the return of macho reinstated back into our sartorial wardrobes.  So open your gifts, drink your nog, and enjoy your Christmas without the bow tie.  I bid you all a fond farewell.  Until next year…nos vemos!

This is Etro for Spring/Summer 2012…enjoy?

Fashion Word-Em-Up: Tae-bo your bow tie .

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