BMI 25 v. Malls of America (2011)

8 Dec

What you are about to read is real.  The anonymous participants are not actors.  They are exquisite women whom have already either filed suit or have been served a summons to appear in a municipal court.  Both parties in the suit have agreed to dismiss their court cases and have their disputes settled here, on CQ360’s forum: The Republic’s Court.

Bailiff Pima Cotton: “All rise.  The Fashion Court for the District of CQ360 is now in session.  The honorable Judge Thread is presiding.  All of those of whom have business before this noble court will be heard.  You may be seated.”

Your Honor, today the court’s attention is invited to take heed to the sounds that derive from the great disparities between the mind-set of full figured women, and their leaner counterparts while shopping for garments.  Dispirited, exasperated, and sometimes mortified; these magnificent plus-sized goddesses are victims of fashion segregation set forth by a coalition of department stores nationwide.

Defense Attorney: “I object, your Honor.  This trial is the absurdity of a charade of a fraud of an absurdity of two charades of a fraud!”.

Judge Thread: “Overruled”.

As we all know, segregation has been proven to have long-term harmful effects.  The practice was implemented as an attempt to remind people that they are different.  That despite what they might have in common they are not the same kinds of creatures.  Although our nation has outlawed the vile exercise, it is alive and well in fashion establishments such as Exhibit A and Exhibit B.  

Defense Attorney: “Objection! This is trickery. The counsel’s law books are filled with Bugs Bunny pictures”.

Judge Thread: “That is a rational, clearheaded objection…Overruled.”

Take into consideration, fact witnesses Jane and Jill, whom enjoy spending an enthusiastic day of shopping with their girlfriends at various boutiques.  Expecting to try on and take home as much clothes as their closets can handle, Jane and Jill are faced with one of three humiliating realities women of their proportions experience.  The least awkward of the three is the realization that the business they’ve entered does not cater to women of their measurements.  A second, much more dreadful experience, is when Jane and Jill are led to a designated area of a budding store that boldly dons the sign “Plus-Size” over their customer’s heads.  And lastly, the audacity of suggesting a speciality store for women whom have more to love is appalling and unconstitutional.

Defense Attorney: …(walks out of the court room).

Judge Thread: “Overruled”.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the coalition of department stores across our very nation has pleaded not guilty to the indictment of fashion segregation; we have proven them guilty and hope that you all charge them so.  On behalf of my clients, they ask that the accused remove all signs of discrimination and demand the destruction of barriers that make up segregated areas.  We rest our case.

Judge Thread: “Members of the jury, have you reach a verdict unanimously?”

Jury: “Yes, your honor”.

Judge Thread: “On the evidence provided to the court regarding the case and all it’s accounts from the witnesses, the jury and I have decided the coalition of fashion department stores guilty of all charges! The removal of all signs and barriers shall be taken down by this time next year.  Court is now adjourned”.

Well that about wraps things up here at CQ360’s “Republic Court”, thanks for reading.  Until next post…nos vemos.

This is Sass Bide for Spring/Summer 2012. Enjoy.

Fashion Word-Em-Up: A lean compromise (an empire waist dress) is better than a fat law suit. 

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